But opening the cover reveals nothing towering, burning or remotely inferno-like. Instead we get a great five-page story called "Bicentennial Banter," in which we find Archie and the gang preparing for their roles in a Bicentennial costume pageant.
Of course, Archie and Reggie have to spend the beginning of the story making fun of Jughead and arguing over who will play George Washington (Reggie wins because his dad bought the costumes). After that rather standard Archie-style interplay, though, things gets really interesting. Betty, Veronica and the other female "gang" members show up and ask about the pageant's roles for women. Archie, incredulous, asks, "Female parts? What female parts?"
Reggie quickly offers up Betsey Ross as an answer, but that's not enough (and way too easy). In response, the women spend the next page quickly listing several important women from the Revolutionary War, as well as the essential roles all women took on during the era. Check it out below:
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I'd love to find out who wrote and drew this story. As with everything Archie published back then, it lacks creator credits. Even the Grand Comics Database (an essential reference) hasn't catalogued the writer or artist yet. That's a shame. If anyone out there knows, please chime in.
The rest of this issue doesn't have any Bicentennial content, but it's all pretty good. There's a nice mix of stories and one-page gags about Sabrina, Archie, Mr. Lodge, and a few other Archie characters. The highlight is probably a Josie story about littering -- a nice tie-in to the "keep American beautiful" campaign that was still in full swing in the mid-seventies.
I'll return to Archie's TV Laugh-Out in the near future, as the title actually contained a huge number of Bicentennial stories throughout 1976, more (as far as I can tell) than any comic except Captain America. Who knew TV laughing was so patriotic?